Week 22- Addiction

We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.

Eyes opened, I woke up, trying to analyse what was going around, where was I?
Scanned the room, it was mine, I hurriedly got up, fell back on the bed I found myself too tired to get back on.
It was dry, the dry air scrubbed through my face, itches.
I was but sweating profusely like a pig, got up splashed some water over.
Looked around the dorm room I shared with the other two, no one was in sight. As curious it was to find myself alone at 8 in the morning, I was pretty much calm about it...
Trying to recollect what I did, how and when I reached home, the previous day was as blank as my exam papers tend to be.
Walking to the kitchen to have some water and there it was....
No! I can’t. I couldn't have possibly brought this...NO!
My mind suddenly started forming sentences with every Wh-questions possible.
Why? What? When? How come?
I tried to shut my eyes and think of something that could take my thoughts away from it.
But no matter what I did, I craved for it. I was desperate.
I leaned in went ahead and grabbed it, my hands couldn’t let go.
It shivered; dreading the possible outcomes it was going to cause once I tore opened it.
I threw it away, so reluctantly, so forcefully.
I tried getting away from the kitchen, I tried, so much.
My mind was sound, giving me all logical outcomes, trying to abhor me from getting near it,
Oh the agony!! Every vein in body craving for it.
I have tried getting away from it for a month, somehow succeeded.
“Meow”, came in Milla, I saw her coming in, watched her closely coming near to it.
Sleazily she tried to tear off the cover, NO!!!
Milla Don’t! I yelled I ran close by, pushed her aside she growled but listened, and went away.
Oh. God. No.
I had it in my hands it was open, and bare and I could smell it.
Intoxicating my senses and my nerves and my logically sound mind.
I gave in.
I recollected the massive calorie burning session the previous day, which made me faint.
Those were the most absolute delicious caramel filled, nutty, dark chocolates I must have had in ages.
Addiction to chocolates are the most dangerous ones of all.

-Haripriya Iyer (Writer of the Week)
Editor-in-chief, Scintilla Weekly
SE, SIES Graduate School of Technology

"Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning, that they may follow strong drink; that continue until night, till wine inflame them!”

Once I saw her, leaning over the balcony railing. I stopped the Taxi and waved out to her. She waved back, smiling like the sun breaking through the clouds. A blissful Oblivion.

I was a practicing Lawyer at Kolkata High Court. She was studying medicine at the the Prestigious Calcutta College of Medical Science. It was like we were meant for each other. I had met her first when I had just shifted to Calcutta. A spark was there which ignited this friendship between us. Love, Infatuation. It was not long before I started falling in love with her. It was around that time I came to know of Anjali. Anjali was her best friend. Residing in Calcutta near the Eden Gardens, she was an ardent cricket lover and used to roam around the city in her Vespa.

As time passed I was falling in Love with her but didn't know how to break the ice. I was afraid. I was hopeful. It was an addiction. Her thought raced my mind every minute. The color of her skin. Her rosy lips. Her eyes lined with Kajal. Her sweet smelling hair. The days seemed longer. I was getting restless. Who else could help me but Anjali. Anjali made a plan to make us meet at a Local Cafe.

As the clock ticked 4 I saw her walking in. Every step she took, my heartbeat increased. A Euphoria of passion, lust and excitement overtook me and made me spit the words,” I Love you". It was like time had just stopped and we were the only two talking. She was short of words. "I need some time", said she. We drank coffee silently and left bidding goodbye. For all I knew it was like bidding adieu to a stranger. I called Anjali. She asked me how it went. A long silence followed. She could hear the sound of the Traffic, the caucus caw cawing of the crows and the Puja going on at the nearby Kali temple. An eagerness swept over me waiting for her reply. Waiting for her words. Weeks went by and she began ignoring me. Finally one day she came towards me. My heart was in my mouth. She told, “I’m sorry I can't be in a relation with you" and walked away. I stood there rooted to the spot too shocked and petrified to say a thing. I was shattered. It was like someone had taken away my drug from me. Like a comet blacking through the evening sky, like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye she was gone too soon.

I was hurt. My mind was racing. I dint know what to do. I saw Anjali. I could see a scintilla in her eyes. I still don't remember what happened. But the next thing I remember was I was on my knees asking her and she said the faintest most inaudible, “Yes". My heart skipped a beat. She was mine now. As I heard a yes a faint chorus of Enrique's Addicted could be heard.

"Baby I'm addicted
I'm out of control"

-Chaitanya Ramji
SE, SIES Graduate School of Technology

Addiction, what is it exactly? A physical compulsion for a substance or act? Or a psychological impairment that attenuates our rational and progressive capabilities?
Most forms of addiction are openly discussed, but some are so screwed up that we live in denial of those even being real life addictions. Denial being an addiction itself. One of these is pain. Pain is something that most of us are addicted to, no matter how much we deny it.
We cry watching movies, reading books, identifying with the characters, mentally substituting us in the place of pained ones, trying to feel all those emotions ourselves, we love blindly, trust liberally, dream unconditionally, knowing every time that it all will end in nothing but pain. We give these irrational decisions the armor of faith, but that’s a facade. Even if extremely crooked the truth is we want to feel all that hurt, pain and disappointment. Then why do we do it? Because we covet it, we revel in it. We love to blame people, situation, and life for the pain, to sacrifice when it’s not necessary, to wind up in a dark place and to become all moody. The sympathy that follows is just a cherry on top.
So why is it that we are so eager to push that self-destruct button? Maybe we are bent on thinking that nothing can be achieved the easy way, we invite and endure pain because it makes us feel worthy. Maybe we relish pain because it makes us feel human, vulnerable. Pain is a great inspiration for musicians and song writers, or so I have heard. Many of us have this belief that to reach happiness a path of pain and hurt is inevitable. Agreed that after a bit of pain, the complimentary state feels much sweeter. But happiness is not a destination, it’s a condition. Ever changing.
Pain is neither the question nor the solution. It will never put things in perspective. It’s like a rocking chair, it will give you something to do but it will take you nowhere. Then what is the solution to this addiction problem? The solution is a small but significant realization that there are no 'grey' areas, nothing is half as complicated as we make it out to be. We all make mistakes, all we have to do is start by doing the most difficult thing, forgiving yourself.

-Swanand Bhave
SE, SIES Graduate School of Technology


Think back to the first time you ever heard of Addiction! I really, really like the word, addiction. While much has been written on its effect on modern living, several of today’s most bright minds seem incompetent of distinguishing its growing importance to understanding future generations. Crossing many social barriers, it still draws remarks such as 'I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole' and 'I’d rather eat wasps' from the easily lead, who are yet to grow familiar to its discombobulating nature. Keeping all of this in mind, I will scrutinize major issues.

Society is an unassuming word with a very complex definition. As reflected in classical mythology society is complicated. When The Tygers of Pan Tang sang 'It's lonely at the top. Everybody's trying to do you in,' they could have been making a mention to addiction, but probably not. A society without addiction is like a society without knowledge, in that it is crisp on the outside but soft in the inside. Nothing represents everyday life better than addiction, and I mean nothing. It grows resilient every day.

The unforgettable and indispensable phrase, ‘Honesty is the best policy’ was clearly referring to the impact of addiction on today's society. While the western world use a knife and fork, the Chinese use chopsticks. Of course, Addiction is quite good. Our post-literate society, more than ever before, relies upon addiction. To put it simply, people like Addiction.

No man is an island, but what of politics? Comparing addiction and much of what has been written of it can be like comparing addiction and post-addiction. Consider this quote, taking a walk across hot coals will inevitably hurt your feet. What a fanciful quote. Perhaps the word which sums up the significance of addiction to politics is 'participation'. Why did addiction cross the road? To get to the other side! Just my little joke, but let’s hope that addiction doesn't inspire analogous glee in the next elections.

Consciousness complicates a myriad of progressions. Has addiction provided the stimulus for these great words? If our political system can be seen as a cake, then addiction makes a good case for being the icing. One thing is sure. The human species generously desires addiction, and what's more human than politics?

What can I determine? Well, addiction has a distinctive place in the heart of mankind and deserves all of the attention it gets. It establishes order, influences the influencers, and it brings the best out in people.

-Vivek Venkatram
Founder & Publisher, Scintilla Weekly
SE, SIES Graduate School of Technology

Look around the world and everyone's addicted to something. But the question is what are we addicted to? Is it a person, a thing or a habit? All of us unknowingly are addicted to something. On a little self-interrogation, I found that I am addicted to 'self-criticism’. In whatever sense I see, I can’t appreciate myself, including this article by me. It is due to the pressure we put on ourselves. The pressure to be better than what we already are. The pressure to be better than what we know we can be. And that is my addiction. Striving for better is always good but the pressure never lets off. It only builds up and that pressure is my addiction. But is addiction really a choice? Maybe yes, because when I choose to be better than what I am, I choose my addiction. Talking about addiction, I also believe that quitting is the only way out and not an option. But an addiction that makes me a better person should really be thought upon?

I disagree with my own self now (observe my addiction to self-criticism). Quitting is the only way out when your addiction is derogatory but not at all a question when it is about rising above. So why not give a little about what your addiction is and decide for yourself whether quitting is an option or not even a question?

-Subbu Kashyap
BDS, Dayanand Sagar College of Dental Sciences, Bangalore

Addiction necessarily need not be in case of drugs or any medications for that matter. See if you can relate yourself here.

You are addicted when:-

1. You pick up your cell phone every five minutes to check Facebook notifications or to update your Whatsapp status.
2. You drowse off in between lectures or while travelling in a train or bus.
3. You can’t resist the smell of vada pav or for that matter any fast food.
4. You are always late for your lectures.
5. You always prefer sitting on last bench.
6. You can't live without your computer games.
7. You are always studying or learning something.
Okay! The last one was a mere sarcasm.

One should always remember that addiction is not only towards smoking or drinking, it can be about the small things in life. Addiction is always in our minds while doing it and always in our hands when we wish to get rid of it.

-Ashik Kotharkar
SE, SIES Graduate School of Technology

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